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Thursday 19th September 2019

What grooms worry about before their wedding

Groom
Here's Dan, played by an actor, modelling exactly what Dan won't be wearing at his wedding

I wanted to go as Iron Man. With my two best men as Iron Man, as well.  I thought the anonymity would introduce an exciting chance element during the ceremony.

My fiancée, ‘M’, chose to veto this suggestion, fond though she is of my best mates. Not my most useful idea, but it helped me towards an eventual conclusion that will probably save me money, and make me look pretty good, too.

Who looks good in a suit? I don’t. I look awkward, and like I’m worried about bending over.

Before we get onto that, we have to dispel the myth – “Every man looks good in a suit”. NO HE DOESN’T! Who looks good in a suit? I don’t. I look awkward, and like I’m worried about bending over, or spilling something on myself.

Footballers don’t either. If anyone should look good in a suit, it’s footballers, they’ve got the same physique as the shop dummies. But they don’t – footballers look awesome in their natural attire, i.e. shorts and boots, tearing up the pitch, completely comfortable with themselves and their surroundings.

Fortunately, I’m not a footballer, not even remotely. The Unitarians are an accommodating bunch, but I think even they’d draw the line at me clattering up the aisle in studs. However, I do like a nice brand new shirt, and trousers. I’ll stick a waistcoat with that, just to introduce the concept of formal wear, without going nuts.

There we go. Simple outfit, with several points in its favour:

  1. It looks good;
  2. I won’t be dressed up in a bunch of things I’m not used to wearing, and I will be more relaxed;
  3. I can pay for my best men’s outfits, and we’ll all have something that we can wear many times afterwards. If I bought them suits, I would have probably had to buy something of a lower quality than any of us would choose.

Besides, anyone in their right mind is going to be looking at her.

 

 

 

 

 

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Dan Lever

Dan Lever

Mouthy Blogger

Family man from Bolton, guitar teaching exercise enthusiast, due to get married any minute now so watch this space.

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